Osarian
by untouchablerave
Summary: Jerome/Amber "Jerome was helping her become herself again." - and a Fabian/Jerome/Nina friendship fic.
1. Chapter 1

It had been a week. Although for Jerome it had felt like months, maybe even years. He had visited everyday, skipped dinner so he could go alone, and made up excuse after excuse.

He was sure the others knew.

He passed up the opportunities to go and visit her at the hospital with the rest of them. They knew he wasn't as heartless to not visit Amber at all.

"Someone painted her nails for her." Nina told him, trying to make conversation in this desperate time.

Jerome smiled and buried his nose in his book.

He knew they knew it was him. He had taken Amber's favourite nail polish from her room and painted her nails for her yesterday.

"Is she awake yet?" Trudy asked, beginning to set the table.

"No, not yet. The doctor says if we keep talking to her she might though."

Jerome caught Fabian looking at him. It was a sad, sympathetic look. He knew.

He forced a weak smile. He didn't want to give himself away.


	2. Chapter 2

The next time he took some lip-gloss. He pushed open the door to Amber's room and stepped inside. Nothing had changed, except the wilting flowers had been removed. Nina must've taken them yesterday.

He asked himself why he was surprised. Nothing would change, of course.

He sat in the visitor's chair. He wasn't used to speaking out loud to her yet, but for her sake he had to try.

"Hi Ambs. Can you hear me?"

It always started off the same. He took her hand in his and squeezed it tight.

"Squeeze if you can."

Nothing.

"Everyone is so worried about you. Mick's been on the phone asking after you. Mara told him what happened. I wish I hadn't been there. I wish I hadn't seen you fall. If I had left the dining room a second before I would have caught you. I don't want everyone to think it was me though just because I was there. I didn't push you Amber; you remember that, I was at the bottom of the stairs not the top. It was an accident. Your heels, Nina told you to be careful. I can't believe that stupid shoes ruined you like this. Nina can't sleep at night – Fabian's been looking after her. Alfie's beside himself, we all are."

He looked down, gulping back his emotion.

"I just need you to wake up, Ambs. I know that's a big ask right now but I need you to give me a sign."

He dropped her hand and reached into his pocket. He pulled out the long pink tube and unscrewed the top.

"Amber, this person in this bed, it isn't you. I want you to look like the Amber I know and love."

He pulled out the handle and spread the sticky pink liquid across her parted lips. He could feel her shallow breaths on his hand. He paused for a moment to feel them.

It was hope.


	3. Chapter 3

Jerome pushed open the door to Amber and Nina's room. He had expected Nina to be with Fabian. The room was empty and he slipped inside.

It was getting more and more painful to see Amber's empty room, to see it how she had left it. No one had dared touch her things, like a grave museum piece of her last moments. No one knew if it would be disrespectful to change it, so they didn't.

Her bed was still unmade. Her phone still switched on and lay placed on her bedside table. Her wardrobe doors still swung open with dresses on hangers spilling out.

It pained him. Every time.

He walked over to her dressing table and picked up her hairbrush. It still had a few strands of silvery blonde hair left in it. Jerome wanted to pull them out and feel their featheriness against his calloused hands.

The door creaked and Jerome turned having been caught.

"You should wait," Fabian said as he entered the room, "Nina's gone to see her."

Jerome nodded and held the hairbrush awkwardly in his hands.

"I know it's you," Fabian told him, "I think it's really lovely, what you're doing."

Jerome placed the hairbrush back on the dresser and went to speak, to defend himself, anything.

"You don't have to say anything, really, its okay. And I won't tell," Fabian stuttered out, "I promise – if you wanted to tell us you would have but you didn't so… I won't tell."

"Thank you," Jerome croaked out.

"All you have to do, Jerome, is ask." Fabian took a few steps closer, "We're all in this together now, and we miss her so much. If you're struggling, just ask for our help and you know we will."

Jerome nodded, biting down on his lip hard but it was too much. He let out a sob and Fabian rushed forward, engulfing him in his embrace. Jerome pressed his face hard against Fabian's neck and choked out a deep, hollow cry.

"It's okay," Fabian whispered.

Jerome gripped at Fabian's shirt, his nails digging in as more sobs of pain and anguish overcame him. After a moment, the jerk of grief in his body subsided and he pulled away, pushing the palm of his hands into his eye sockets – a desperate bid to stop the flow of tears.

Fabian laid a hand on his shoulder and gripped it affectionately.

Jerome nodded to show he understood.

Fabian left and Jerome gathered what he needed. When Nina returned, he bolted out of the door – he wasn't ready for everyone to know yet. Through the hammering rain he ran towards the hospital and when he got there, he re-did Amber's nails and applied her lip-gloss. This time he brushed her hair and placed an Alice band on top of her head.

Amber was starting to look like the Amber he had once known. All he could do would be to pretend that the tubes and machines weren't there.

The next morning Nina ran in with a huge smile across her face. She had just been to see her before breakfast.

"She was wearing an Alice band, somebody put…" Nina choked out, gesturing to her head and suppressing a sob. Fabian hugged her and as he did, he looked to Jerome and smiled.

Jerome just wasn't doing it for himself anymore. He was doing it for all of them.


	4. Chapter 4

The next time Jerome tried creeping into Amber and Nina's room, Fabian was there waiting for him.

"How long?" He asked. He held Amber's pillow between his hands. "How long have you been in love with her?"

Jerome gulped, clearly uncomfortable.

"I – I don't…"

"Jerome, it's me."

Jerome ran his hands through his hair. He felt as though he needed to sit down.

"I don't know."

Fabian nodded. He stood up and walked towards Jerome, handing him the pillow.

"You need to accept that however hard this is, you can't do this alone." Fabian told him.

"I'm not ready."

"You need to accept yourself, accept how you feel and accept us – that we're all in this together,"

"You don't understand!" Jerome cried. He didn't want to shout at Fabian. He was a good friend, a good guy, but it was getting difficult.

"Then help me understand!"

"I was there!" He snarled, falling back onto the door for support.

"What?"

"I was there! When Amber fell – I saw it!"

"You saw her fall?"

"Yes!"

They stood in silence for a few moments.

"No."

"Yes! I was coming out of the dining room and she was standing at the top of the stairs," Jerome's voice started to waver with emotion, "She said 'how do I look?' and I said 'you look beautiful Ambs, just like always', she laughed and ran down the stairs to meet me. She tripped and right from the top to the bottom she fell. I should have caught her but I was frozen, paralysed by fear and with a thud she lay at my feet."

Jerome thought he was going to be sick.

"I'm so sorry," Fabian whispered.

"You know I've been visiting her every day."

"I know – we all do."

Jerome nodded. He guessed as much.

"Look, I have to go."

"Let us come with you."

Jerome looked towards him like a lost child.

"When you're ready… let us come with you."

Jerome nodded. He dodged past Fabian and rummaged through the bottom of Amber's wardrobe.

"Shoes?"

"Her favourite pair." Jerome smiled, slipping them into his satchel, "I'll see you." He muttered.

He walked through the corridors of Anubis house and down the stairs. He could barely look at them.

He found his way to the hospital and pushed open the door like he had done many times before.

Nothing had changed.

He sat down beside her and took her hand in his.

"Hey Ambs, can you hear me?"

Every visit seemed to be blurring into one. The days stretched on and on and still no sign of her recovery. The only difference was after Jerome had done her hair, applied her lip-gloss and brushed her hair.

Jerome was helping her become herself again.

He pulled the shoes out of his bag and knelt at the foot of her bed. He held the back of her heels, her skin like warm milk and guided her feet inside her shoes.

He paused, and bent low, pressing his pursed lips to her ankle.

He resumed his place and sat next to her in the visitor's chair. He took her hand again and gently stroked it.

"We're going to come back, together this time, we'll all be here. I promise," He told her, squeezing her hand gently, "I won't do this alone anymore. I know you hate it when I try – but I had to know, I had to know if I could do it without you Ambs. Guess what? I can't."

His voice cracked and he began to cry. Short sharp sobs. He laid his head down on the side of her bed. He covered his face with his hands and cried harder.

Suddenly, he felt a twitch. Amber's hand that lay next to his head had twitched, as if she was trying to stroke his hair. Jerome sat up.

"Amber?"

He looked down at her hand that twitched ever so slightly before resuming its stillness.

He must have imagined it. All of this hoping and wishing. He must've dreamt it.

He gave a breathy sigh – but he heard her stirring.

He leant closer, his heart beating in his ears.

She stirred further.

"Os… osar…"

"Yes, Amber – what are you trying to tell me?"

"Osar… osarian…"

Her breath was ever so light. But Jerome could just make out the word – Osarian.

Maybe she was still dreaming about the quest.

"Amber, are you awake?"

Nothing.

"Amber, if you can hear me, I'm going to get the others. We'll all be here – I promise."

Jerome gathered his things before darting out the door.

As the door slammed, Amber's eyelids fluttered.


End file.
